TO MRS. HARDY.
Rome, May 29, 1884. I visited St. Peter's this morning, and was perfectly bewildered by its richness and vastness. It is far beyond my description. I gave especial attention to the few Raphaels there. But my desire for the fine arts is too profound, and I must cut short my stay in Rome, for I shall be tempted to overdo. I could but pity those poor devotees who kissed the toe of that bronze statue of St. Peter. While I was gazing this afternoon at that beautiful interior of S. Paolo Fuori le Mura I began to wonder and query what St. Paul would say of the building, or rather of the builder, if he should rise to-day. I should like to ask both Peter and Paul their private opinions of these things done in their honor. I am myself too radical and too practical, and as I cannot get replies at once from these departed apostles must be contented with my own opinions and criticisms. I have called on our minister and Rev. A. G. Gray; also upon the Minister of Public Instruction. The rector of the Collegio Romano showed me over this Jesuit college, and I had a long conversation with Dr. Ottavio Grampini, the librarian. I have also visited several schools with the director of primary instruction. So I do not devote myself altogether to sight-seeing, but am trying to solve problems about this nation, its future and drawbacks. This is a great place to study humanity. I find traveling and sight-seeing both expensive and fatiguing, and shall try to find some good resting-place in Switzerland or Scotland before coming to you. I am now bound to get well. I am very careful about my expenses; a missionary ought not to travel like rich people. I must defer telling you my rich experiences in Naples and Rome. Some thoughts differ from the reality. I used to think of the clear and beautiful Tiber; but what a dirty stream it is!
Turin, June 18, 18S4. I remained six days in Florence, and spent much time in those splendid Pitti and Uffizi galleries. But what interested me most were the relics of Savonarola, which are kept in an old cell where he used to stay. I had a most interesting interview with Dr. Villari, the author of Savonarola's life. I found him rather indifferent to religious matters. He adopts Cavour's principle: a free church in a free state. He hesitated to reply when I inquired his own religious views, but of Christianity he said, " It is an excellent thing for the country, and has a powerful civilizing effect." To my question whether the spirit of Savonarola still survived he replied in the negative, to my great disappointment. Savonarola is dead, indeed, and the square where he was burned is not ornamented in his honor, but with mythological emblems. Alas! the spirit of this monk may be dead in the hearts of Italians, but he still lives and preaches to those of the evangelical faith. I also called on Dr. Piccini, the Oriental scholar. He has many Chinese and Japanese manuscripts. I have visited many institutions of 1 arning. I find the clergy of Italy less well educated than those of France and Germany. But I meet very many accomplished Oriental scholars, especially Dr. Teza of Pisa, who speaks German, Dutch, English,
French, etc., and reads Arabic, Japanese, Chinese, and many hieroglyphic languages. He is Professor of Sanscrit in the university. Social science and language is much studied at Pisa, philosophy in Naples.
I am quite free from the fever which I contracted in the Red Sea, and had courage enough to climb that famous tower. It was towards evening, — a calm and beautiful evening, too. In the west, over the Mediterranean Sea, there was a splendid sunset, and in the northwest the ragged peaks of the Apennines, while around me lay the city and the highly cultivated fields. I shall never forget that view in my life.
I visited Genoa hastily, and passing under the lofty mountains came through the beautiful valley of the Po.
I attended a Protestant service in Turin. About twenty poorly dressed, ignorant -looking people, mostly women, — a discouraging sight! The work in Roman Catholic Italy seems disheartening. Their faith is not in God, but in religious forms. In company with Dr. Torre I visited the university and St. John's Hospital.
People here have a most wonderful skill in taking money out from a traveler's pocket. I have decided to go to Torre Pellico in the Waldensian valley to rest three or four weeks. I have several letters of introduction to eminent English people, members of Parliament, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and others, and am perplexed whether I shall try to rest here or not. It may be best for me to do so, but the temptation to give this time to England is very strong. Although sight-seeing diverts my thought from Christian work, it is hard for me not to think of Japan. I hope I shall gain strength enough to labor for Japan many coming years.
TO MR. HARDY.
Toere Pellico, July 1, 1884. This valley is directly west from Turin, and Torre Pellico is the largest community. Here is a college for young men and a school for girls. The population is of the Protestant faith. The American consul in Turin advised me to come here, because of the beautiful scenery and fine air. He said nothing of the community in this valley, but I knew something of it before and am much interested to know more about it and to study its history. You know what severe religious persecutions they have suffered. They are just well enough off to support themselves, but can do nothing else. But for their poverty they might be a leaven to Italy. I have already taken some excursions to neighboring high hills, and have made many acquaintances whose society I enjoy. I cannot read or study much yet. As my health has been going down some years it may take some time to build it up. In your kind letter you urge me not to think about money for our school in Kyoto. But, dear sir, I have no single day in which my thought could be free from Japan. My heart is in two places, — heaven and Japan, — yes, one more place, — America. I desire to raise some money in America to start a medical school, for which I have already written to you with Dr. Berry. In Japan I also began to receive some sympathy from friends in regard to founding some special chair in our school. The matter looks rather dubious yet, but I feel I must work for it. I must either sink or swim, succeed or die. But I must not write on this subject any more lest you send me a regular scolding. Allow me to send you my special request to pray for Japan intensely, fervently. My heart burns for her and I cannot check it.
" Silence. Silence is one of the virtues. There is much safety in silence. Wise men never talk much. As the tongue was given us to use for good purposes, use it for such. Yain and senseless talking often injures our reputation and causes us to lose our manhood. I often noticed uneasiness and a chaff-like element in vain and talkative men. There is something noble and serene in silence. It does not imply concealment, for the wicked often conceal their deeds with words. Silence is a manly forbearance. A man of silence is a blessing to a family and to society. It ought by no means to be accompanied by a bitter countenance, but rather with a cheerful one. Vain talking disturbs, but silence soothes and heals. We can easily weigh a man of vain talk, but cannot easily measure the depths of mind of a wisely silent man. But do not keep silence if by speaking we can do good or bear witness for the truth. O, how large a portion of our talk we spend upon the vain things of the world, and how little for the truth! When a word goes out from our mouth it is like water spilled on a parched soil; there is no possibility of taking it back again. What is said, is said. It becomes a fact of our lives for which we must in the future give an account. But above all let us not harbor evil thoughts, for evil thoughts are the mainspring of evil and vain talking.
"Poor creatures! we plan much and can do very little. Our plans are often defeated by something.
" Receive others patiently. If one would be a hero, let him be patient. If any brother do not behave as he ought, wait for some occasion to drop a kind word, so as not to offend him. Never send away a brother in Christ when he comes. 'The sacred beast does not trample upon even a blade of grass, ' — which means that no man, however stupid, no enemy, however bitter, is despised by the divine mind. Cause no man to fail. Bear the evils of others for God's sake, for He bears ours patiently. He does not correct us furiously, at once, but takes many occasions to heal us and many years to sanctify us. Let us by no means neglect our duty to others. Look at the ocean, — how beautiful it is! Yet it must receive many filthy things from the shores. It receives and purifies. We shall be happy men if we can be like it. Be minute for ourselves in everything, but when we come to deal with others, let us be careful not to offend them by a close calculation.
" Roughness and Politeness. A rough manner with a kind heart is far better than a petty artificial politeness with no least meaning. Japan is one of the politest nations in the world, but, alas! the heart is not in it. Artificial politeness is a national habit. This is not the result of a true sincerity. Politeness ought to be the necessary exponent of real love and kindness; but without sincerity it is a kind of deception.
"Business Character. The Italians appear to be polite, but they lack business character. They are by nature easy-going, and would rather postpone business if possible. They will not move unless they are pushed by some one. They do not know how to be prompt. They talk much and are easily excited. Time is not money for them. Do what is to be done promptly. Waste no time in talking. Do it, and it is done.
"Man's Greatness. Man's greatness does not depend upon his learning, but upon his disinterestedness in self. Those with much learning are apt to be more selfish than the unlearned. Let us look at Christ on the cross. He is our example. O how noble, how grand, how gracious, He seems to us! Let us forget self, and offer ourselves freely for the cause of truth. Let us also be truly penitent and humble. I call this man's greatness.
" The True Hero-worshiper. Most Japanese are hero-worshipers. They are a difficult people to manage except by a hero to whom they can look up. Yet they are very easily led away by a hero. They move on the sensational currents of the hero's opinions, and lack individuality. Most hero -worshipers are tinged with the same color as that of their hero. Their weak point is that they cannot rise above their hero. If he makes a mistake, or fails, they also do the same. If he falls, they fall likewise. This has been true of us, as close examination of our history will show. You will also find that there has been no hero in Japan who has done all for unselfish ends. He is apt to be more selfish than the common mass of the people.
If the mind of our people be directed to the Hero of heroes, the greatest the world has ever produced, I am sure it would revolutionize the future of Japan. He is far above Socrates and Confucius, yet He is the friend of the poor. He is far above Alexander or Napoleon, yet He shed his own blood for humanity, instead of shedding that of hundreds of thousands of the innocent for his own gratification. He had no selfish aim in his life; He was perfectly holy, yet perfectly simple; He had no place to rest his head, yet He sits for eternity on the throne of the universe. If the Japanese must have a hero, let them worship this one, the Hero of heroes. His worshipers will be tinted with the one best color, — the color of godliness. Within this bound there is ample scope for freedom: man can choose any profession except bad and harmful ones. In following Him we shall obtain true human liberty and certainly preserve our individuality. O how I long for our people to turn towards this Hero, so far above weak humanity.
"If I teach again I will pay special attention to the poorest scholar in the class. If I can do that I believe I can be a successful teacher.
"A Policy for our Training School. Let us be like an unpolished diamond. Never mind the outward rough appearance, if we can have the shining part within. Let these three factors be our perpetual mottoes: 1. Christ as our foundation stone. 2. Well qualified instructors. 3. Well selected library and thorough equipment of apparatus. These three factors will be the true shining part of our school. Too much of brick and mortar does not suit my humble taste. I am terribly craving for the inner polish. That will certainly command the respect of thoughtful Japanese far more than brick, stone, and mortar.
" Ordinary observers may take no notice of the unpolished diamond. A skilled jeweler sees at a glance what it is. Wonderful beauty within! Never mind if the world takes no notice of us because we do not shine in society. If we could only have that wonderful beauty within, that were enough for us. If we have the life and light of Christ within us, then we are most precious diamonds, though we may seem rather dull and unpolished outwardly.
"Always remember the disappointed.
"Promises. Fulfill your promises promptly. Never postpone till to-morrow, for we may not see to-morrow or may be fully occupied with something else. It is a sort of weakness and shame for a man to make all sorts of apologies to another. Let yea be yea, and nay be nay. Do, or not do. But never be sluggish or leave business half done. Earnestness is like a transparent crystal; but love is like honey, always sweet and without any bitterness.
"Try to say what we mean, and never anything which we do not really mean in our heart. It is a moral weakness to utter what we do not really mean. Straightforwardness is found mostly among the Anglo- Saxon races.
"I find some Christians narrow and stupid. Yet Christianity ought to produce great-heartedness, activity, and progress. Narrowness and stupidity are the results of a dead faith. Salt which has lost its savor is good for nothing.
"There is great danger of our forming an opinion of others by looking at them in one case. We should be careful, because some who are quite deficient in one respect may be very efficient in another. There must be some defect even in a so-called perfect man.
Discover his temper, his education, his surroundings, his circumstances in life. See how he behaves in some unusual case. Never criticise too soon, else we shall surely misjudge him. Judge with a Christian grace. Never be too harsh or too minute. Love others as our Heavenly Father loves us. If we have love on our side we shall lose all our petty criticising spirit. O, it is a most unhappy and unhealthy thing to have too critical eyes for others. When we discover some defect in others, take it as it were upon ourselves and try not to repeat it. When we see great success among our brethren, wish more success for them. Never look upon our dear brother with an envious eye. If he is good, praise him, pray for him, and follow his example. I observed often that when some one hears good news of his friend he would say, 'But he is so and so,' instead of rejoicing over his success. Weak human nature is prevailing everywhere. There is a great deal of competition among educated people. Note: Be especially patient when we are sick or feeling unhappy.
" Don't be a Jack-at-all -trades. In passing through some country towns I notice there are ever so many things shown in the shops, but when I closely examine each article I find the stock of each kind is rather scanty. It is well for us to be widely informed on many subjects, but do not imitate those country shops, — many articles, but a scanty supply of each. We ought to be well posted in at least one subject or professional study. It will be a rich treat to us. Success in our life will chiefly hang upon it. Let this be our defensive and offensive weapon on the battlefield of truth. Though our talent be small, let it be solid and weighty. Be single-minded for a single purpose. We shall sooner or later reach our mark. Never shoot one arrow into the air; aim at an object surely, and then let it go. If we miss, then repeat the process again and again until we can satisfy ourselves. I never knew of a single case of a talented, puffed up, yet unsettled man accomplishing anything noteworthy.
"Never miss a rare opportunity to do good. Let our guns be always loaded. When we meet our game, aim at it and shoot it instantly; for our game will never wait for us. When we meet with any occasion to do good to another, don't let it go; don't wait for to-morrow; do it at once, for we may never have the occasion again. To shoot wild game is a mere pleasure, but to shoot men for our Master is a grave business. Let our guns be first loaded with living powder and bullets from on high, and be always ready. Many hunters of men carry their guns unloaded. This explains why Christ's kingdom does not spread faster among men.
" The Divine Fire. Many Christian ministers may have highest culture, and may write their sermons with much skill and thought, — beautifully executed work, like a Grecian marble statue. Alas! there is no heat in it. Heat must be caused by fire; if there is no fire in the sermon to heat the hearer's heart, it is a serious affair. Divine fire is needed to heat men's hearts. This fire can only be got by daily seeking. Those who depend very much upon their talent and knowledge are very apt to forget to seek this much needed divine fire for themselves as well as for their hearers. How cold such a heart must be to a congregation! It is fireless and lifeless. If each professing Christian had this divine fire what would be the aspect of the Christian world! O Heavenly Father, give us this fire! However small we may be, if we have genuine fire we shall consume even the whole world. How small a spark burned up a vast forest in Canada! How small a lamp consumed two thirds of the great city of Chicago! Sometimes one may make an artificial fire in imitation of the divine, but his hearers will sooner or later detect it; it is a mock fire. God will not bless such. O let the divine fire be burning within us always.
"When we are successful in life let us remember Christ's words: 'It is I.' He is the cause of all true success. When we are frightened, or disappointed, or alone, let us remember how he said, 'It is I.' O the consolation of Christ's presence!
"When I awoke this morning I thought of some prayer for some important event in the world. A single prayer, a single word or deed, may exert some vast influence. O what responsible creatures we are! I wish I realized it more.
"'It is finished.' Was ever dying speech so bold!
"Is there any one in the world perfectly free from selfish ambition? How can one know that he is free from such? Or is there any one perfectly free from the slightest deception? Can deception ever be eradicated from civilized society? How many of us can say to God, 'I have lived my life without the slightest ambition or deception '? Has any one ever seen, or could we expect to see, such a perfect type of humanity among the race of Adam, except the Son of God? It is too foolish to entertain such a question, but I would like to meet such a person.
"To be aimless is to be lifeless. A doubting mind never accomplished anything. If we have a doubt then, first clear up the doubt. A half-way scientist, or scholar, or Christian, or statesman, or benefactor, is of no account in the world."
Lucerne, August 9, 1884. I wrote these inclosed papers at the Hotel du Mont Prosa on the St. Gothard pass on the 6th inst., when I was greatly troubled by my heart there. I felt something quite wrong in my breathing just a mile before I reached the pass. I requested a German gentleman who accompanied me to leave me behind, because I could not keep up with him. Accordingly he went on. I stopped to take breath every ten yards, but after a great struggle I reached the hotel in the pass. After resting a while I took my dinner, but had no appetite, and also began to cough. After resting further on a sofa I felt myself growing worse and worse and asked for a doctor, but there was none. I took a tablespoonful of brandy, to arrest my chill, and also applied mustard. About this time I began to think that it might possibly be the Lord's will to take me away from this changeable world to that unchangeable and glorious one. At this moment my thought for Japan, my plan for mission work, my constant daydream to found a Christian university, my tender feel- ing for my wife and parents, my gratitude to Mr. and Mrs. Hardy, came up at once like a volcanic fire. Still above all these feelings I believe I perfectly re-signed myself to the hand of my Heavenly Father, and asked him repeatedly to receive my soul to his bosom if it be his will. While I was suffering from a most distressed feeling in my chest, how happy and how thankful I was for the Father's kind care over me, and especially for his forgiving grace manifested through his son Jesus Christ.
Then I sat up in bed and wrote the inclosed will on two sheets of drawing paper which I then had with me for sketching. While writing that I almost fainted away. Towards evening I began to feel a little better, and took a cup of tea. I slept quite well. On the following morning I was still better, but had not strength to start for Andermatt, so I took a carriage from Airolo and reached Andermatt about dinner time, resting quietly there that afternoon. Desiring to see a doctor I started for Lucerne on the 8th. My chest was examined by Dr. Stocker. He warned me to keep myself quiet for a few days, as he found my heart out of sound state.
I desire to keep these papers, because I had then a most unparalleled feeling I ever felt in my past life. Since then I feel more and more my life is not for me. Whether I live or die I must live or die for Christ. May the Lord ever keep this sin -wounded soul under his protecting hand, and count me as a least one in his kingdom through the righteousness of Jesus Christ.
His most unworthy servant,
I am a native of Japan and a Christian missionary to my native land. On account of my ill-health I was obliged to leave my native land. I came from Milan to Andermatt yesterday and took a room at the Hotel Oberalp. I started on a trip to the St. Gothard pass with a German gentleman this morning. As I found myself unwell he left me here and went on to Airolo. I found myself hard of breathing. It must be some trouble in my heart. My goods are in the Hotel Oberalp with some money. If I die please send a telegram to Pastor Jurino, 51 Via Torino, Milan, and ask him to take charge of my body. May the kind Heavenly Father receive my soul to his bosom. August 6, 1884. J. H. Neesima. Whoever reads this writing, pray for Japan, my dear native land. I would ask the Pastor Jurino to bury me in Milan and send this writing to Hon. Alpheus Hardy, 4 Joy Street, Boston, Mass., U. S. A., as he and his wife have been my benefactors these twenty years. May the Lord give them ample rewards both now and hereafter. Send a telegram to Mr. Hardy at once. Please cut and send a little portion of my hair to my dear wife and aged parents in Kyoto, Japan, as a token of the inseparable bond of union in Christ. My plan for Japan will be defeated. But thanks be to the Lord that He has done so much for Japan. I trust He will yet do the wonderful work there. May the Lord raise up many true Christians and noble patriots for my dear fatherland! Amen and amen.