A Testimony of Our Inexhaustible Treasure

L WAS desperately in need of some religion. The Hindu religion held out no hope for me; the Brahmo religion was not a very definite one, for it is nothing but what a man makes for himself. He chooses and gathers whatever seems good to him from all religions known to him, and prepares a sort of religion for his own use. The Brahmo religion has no other foundation than man's own natural light, and the sense of right and wrong which he possesses in common with all mankind. It could not and did not satisfy me; still I liked and believed a good deal of it that was better than what the orthodox Hindu religion taught.

After my husband's death I left Silchar and came' to Poona. Here I stayed for a year. The leaders of the reform party treated me with great kindness and gave me some help. Miss Hurford used to come and teach me the New Testament in Marathi. I had at this time begun to study the English language, but did not know how to write or speak it. She used to teach me some lessons from the primary reading books, yet sometimes I was more interested in the study of the New Testament than in the reading books.

I went to England early in 1883 in order to study and fit myself for my life work. When I first landed in England I was met by the kind Sisters of Wantage, to one of whom I had been introduced by Miss Hurford at St. Mary's Home in Poona. The Sisters took me to their Home, and began to teach me both secular and religious subjects. I owe an everlasting debt of gratitude to them and to Miss Beale, the late Lady Principal of Cheltenham Ladies' College. These ladies took great pains with me, and taught me the subjects which would help me in my life.,.-

The Mother Superior once sent me for a change to one of the branches of the Sisters' Home in London. The Sisters there took me to see the rescue work carried on by them. I met several of the women who had once been in their Rescue Home, but who had so completely changed, and were so filled with the love of Christ and compassion for suffering humanity that they had given their life for the service of the sick and infirm. Here for the first time in my life I came to know that something should be done to reclaim the so-called fallen women, and that Christians, whom Hindus considered outcasts and cruel, were kind to these unfortunate women, degraded in the eyes of society.

I had never heard, or seen, anything of the kind done for this class of women by the Hindus in my own country. I had not heard any one speaking kindly to them, nor seen any one making any effort to turn them from the evil path they had chosen in their folly. The Hindu Shastras do not deal kindly with these wom6n. The law of the Hindu commands that the king shall cause the fallen women to be eaten by dogs in the outskirts of the town. They are considered the greatest sinners, and not worthy of compassion.

_After my visit to the Homes at Fulham, where I saw this work of mercy carried on, I began to think that there was a real difference between Hinduism and Christianity. I asked the Sister who instructed me to tell me what it was that made the Christians care for and reclaim the "fallen" women. She read the story of Christ meeting the Samaritan woman, and His wonderful discourse on the nature of true worship, and* explained it to me. She spoke of the infinite love of Christ for sinners. He did not despise them, but came to save them. I had never read or heard anything like this in the religious books of the r Hindus. I realised, after reading the fourth chapter

•,, of John's Gospel, that Christ was truly the Divine

Saviour He claimed to be, and no one but He could

/transform and uplift the downtrodden womanhood i. of India and of every land

Thus my heart was drawn to the religion of Christ. I was intellectually convinced of its truth, and was baptised in the latter part of 1883 at Wantage. I was comparatively happy, and felt a great joy in finding a new religion which was better than any other I had known. I knew full well that it would displease my friends and my countrymen very much, but I have never regretted having taken the step. I was hungry for something better than what the Hindu Shastras gave. I found it in the Christian's Bible and was satisfied.

For five years after my baptism and confirmation I studied the Christian religion more thoroughly with the help of various books written on its doctrines. Although I was quite contented with my newly-found religion, so far as I understood it, still I was labouring under great intellectual difficulties, and my heart longed for something better which I had not found. I came to know, after eight years from the time of my baptism, that I had found the Christian religion, vi^hich was good enough for me; but I had not found Christ, who is the Life of the religion and "the Light of every man that Cometh into the world. '

It was nobody's fault that I had not found Christ. He must have been preached to me from the beginning. My mind at that time had been too dull to grasp the teaching of the Holy Scriptures. The open Bible had been before me, but I had given much of my time to the study, of other books about the Bible, and had not studied the Bible itself as I should have done. Hence my ignorance of many important doctrines taught in it. I gave up the study of other books about the Bible after my return home from America and took to reading the Bible regularly.

Following this course for about two years I became very unhappy in my mind. I was dissatisfied with my spiritual condition. One day I went to the Bombay Guardian Mission Press on some business. There I picked up a book called "From Death unto Life," written by Mr. Haslam, the evangelist. I read his experiences in this book with great interest. He, being a clergyman of the Church of England, had charge of a good parish, and was interested in all Christian activities connected with the Church. While he was holding conversation with a lady, a member of his Church, she told him that he was trying to build from the top. The lady meant to say he was not converted, and had not experienced regeneration and salvation in Christ.

I read his account of his conversion and work for Christ, then I began to consider where I stood and what my actual need was. I took the Bible and read portions of it, meditating on the messages which jSrod gave me. There were so many things I did not /understand intellectually. One thing I knew by / this time, that I needed Christ, and not merely His religion.

There were some of the old ideas stamped on my brain; for instance, I thought that repentance of sin and the determination to give it up was what was necessary for forgiveness of sin; that the rite of baptism was the means of regeneration; that my sins were truly washed away when I was baptised in the Name of Christ. These and such other ideas, which are akin to Hindu mode of religious thought, stuck to me. For some years after my baptism I had been comparatively happy to think that I had found a religion which gave its privileges equally to men and women; there was no distinction of caste, colour, or sex made in it. But I had failed to understand that we are "of God in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom and righteousness, and sanctification and redemption" (1 Cor. 1. 30). I had failed to see the need of placing my implicit faith in Christ and His atonement in order to become a child of God by being born again of the Holy Spirit and justified by faith in the Son of God. My thoughts were not very clear on this and other points. I was desperate; T realised that I was not prepared to meet God, that sin had dominion over me, and I was not altogether led by the Spirit of God, and had not therefore received the Spirit of adoption, and had no witnesses of the Spirit that I was a child of God.

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God" (Rom. 8. 14-16).

What was to be done? My thoughts could not, and did not, help me. I had at last come to an end of myself, and unconditionally surrendered myself to the Saviour, and asked Him to be merciful to me and to become my Righteousness and Redemption, and to, take away all my sin. I

Only those who have been convicted ot sin and have seen themselves as God sees them under similar circumstances can understand what one feels when a great and unbearable burden is rolled away from one 's heart. I shall not attempt to describe how and what I felt at the time when I made an unconditional surrender, and knew I was accepted to be a branch of the true Vine, a child of God by adoption in Christ Jesus my Saviour. Although it is impossible for me to tell all that God has done for me, I must yet praise Him and thank Him for His lovingkindness to me, the greatest of sinners. The Lord first of all showed me the sinfulness of sin and the awful danger I was in, of everlasting Hell-fire, and the great love of God with which He "so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son." And He gave this Son to be the propitiation for my sin, for does not the inspired Apostle say, "We have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: and He is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world" (1 John 2. 1-2).

The Bible says that God does not wait for me to merit His love, but heaps it upon me without my deserving it. It says also that there is neither male nor female in Christ.

"The righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; being justified freely

by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in His blood, to declare His righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; to declare, I say, at this time His righteousness: that He might be just, and the Justifier of him which believeth in Jesus" (Rom. 3. 22-26).

I do not know if anj^ one of my readers has ever had the experience of being shut up in a room where there was nothing but thick darkness, and then groping in it to find something of which he or she was in dire need. I can think of no one but the blind man, whose story is given in John 9. He was born blind, and remained so for forty years of his life, and then suddenly he found the Mighty One, who could give him eyesight. Who could have described his joy at seeing the daylight, when there had not been a particle of hope of his ever seeing it? Even the inspired evangelist has not attempted to /do it. I can give only a faint idea of what I felt when my mental eyes were opened, and when I, who was "sitting in darkness, saw great light, " and when I felt sure that to me who, but a few moments ago, "sat in the region and shadow of death, light had sprung up. " I was very like the man who was told, "In the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. " "And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking and leaping, and praising God."

I looked to the blessed Son of God who was lifted up on the Cross and there suffered death, even the death of the Cross, in my stead, that I might be made free from the bondage of sin and from the fear of death, and I received life. Oh, the love, the unspeakable love, of the Father for me, a lost sinner, which gave His only Son to die for me! I had not merited this love, but that was the very reason why He showed it toward me.

How very different the truth of God was from the false idea that I had entertained from my earliest childhood. That was, that I must have merit to earn present or future happiness, the pleasure of Svarga, or the utterly inconceivable lost condition of Moksha or liberation. This I could never hope for, for a woman, as a woman, has no hope of Moksha according to Hindu religion. The Brahmin priests have tried to deceive the women and the Shudras and other low caste people into the belief that they have some hope; but when we study for ourselves the books of the religious law, and inquire from the higher authorities, we find that there is nothing, no nothing, whatever for us.

They say that women and Shudras and other low caste people can gain Svarga by serving the husband and the Brahmin. But the happiness of Svarga does not last long. The final blessed state to which the Brahmin is entitled is not for women and low caste people. But here this blessed Book, the Christian's Bible, says:

"When we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us...For... when we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son" (Rom. 5. 6-10).

"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins " (1 John 4. 9, 10).

How good, how indescribably good! What good news — for me, a woman; a woman born in India among Brahmins, who hold out no hope for me and the like of me. The Bible declares that Christ did not reserve this great salvation for a particular caste or sex.

"But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His Name: which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God" (John 1. 12, 13). "For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men" (Titus 2. 11). "The kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us" (Titus 3. 4, 5).

No caste, no sex, no work, and no man was to be depended upon to get salvation, this everlasting life; but God gave it freely to any one and every one who believed on His Son, whom He sent to be the "propitiation for our sins. " And there was not a particle of doubt left as to whether this salvation was a present one or not. I had not to wait till after undergoing births and deaths for countless millions of times, when I should become a Brahmin man, in order to get to know the Brahma. And then, was there any joy and happiness to be hoped for? No, there is nothing but to be amalgamated into nothingness— Shunya, Brahma.

The Son of God says: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth My Word, and believeth on Him that sent Me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnativon; but is passed from death unto life" (John 5. 24).

"If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God which He hath testified of His Son. He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made Him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of His Son. And this is the record, that God hath given to us

hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. These things have I written unto you that believe on the Name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eiernal life, and that ye may believe on the Name of the Son of God'* (1 Johns. 9-13). /-)

The Holy Spirit made it clear to me from the / Word of God that the salvation which God gives I through Christ is present, and not something future. ( I believed it, I received it, and was filled with joy. \

Sixteen years a^o a new leaf was turned in my life. Since then I have come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour, and have the joy of sweet communion with Him; my life is full of joy, "For the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; He also is become my salvation. " Now I know what the prophet means by saying, "Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation." I can scarcely contain the joy and keep it to myself. I feel like the Samaritan woman who "left her waterpot and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a Man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? "

I feel I must tell my fellow -creatures what great things the Lord Jesus has done for me, and I feel sure as it was possible for Him to save such a great sinner as I am He is quite able to save others. The only thing that must be done by me is to tell people of Him and of His love for sinners and His great power to save them.

My readers will not therefore find fault with me for making this subject so very personal. The heart experiences of an individual are too sacred to be exposed to the public gaze. Why then should I give them to the public in this way? Because a "necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the Gospel! " (1 Cor. 9. 16). I am bound to tell as many men and women as possible that Christ Jesus came to save sinners like me. He has saved me, praise the Lord! I know "He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them" (Heb. 7. 25).

God has given me a practical turn of mind. I want to find out the truth about everything, includ-,.ing religion, by experiment. t I experimented on the religion in which I was born; I did not leave a stone unturned, as it were, as far as I knew, not only in the way of studying books, but of doing myself what the books prescribed. I have seen many others also doing the same thing. I saw them doing everything that was commanded them. The sad end was that I found they were not saved by it, nor was I. It was a dire spiritual necessity that drove me to seek help from other sources. I had to give up all pride of our ancestral religion being old, etc., which is preventing many of my countrypeople from finding Christ, although they know well that they have not got the joy of salvation. They can never have it except in Christ.

There are, I know, many hungry souls, and maybe some of them might be helped by reading this account. I would urge upon such brothers and sisters to make haste and come forward and accept the great love of

God expressed in Christ Jesus, and not to neglect "so great salvation," which God gives freely (Heb. 2. 1-3).

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under Heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved" (Acts 4. 12).

Do not therefore lose time through pride or because"^* of any other difficulty. The caste may put you out, I your near and dear ones will perhaps reject you and persecute you, you may very likely lose your tem- '■ poral greatness and riches; but never mind, the great salvation which you will get in Christ by / believing on Him and confessing Him before men is j worth all the great sacrifices you can possibly make. \ Yes, and more than that, for all the riches, and all \ the gain, and all the joys of the world, do not begin) to compare with the joy of salvation.

On the other hand, of what use are all the riches and greatness of the world if you are condemned to the second death, and are to live in the lake of fire for ever and ever, suffering indescribable agonies from which there is no relief?

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? " (Mark 8.36-37).

I would urge on you, dear brother and sister, to make haste and get reconciled with God through Christ. For the great day of judgment is fast coming on us, so make haste and fiee from the wrath of God, which you and I have justly merited. God is love, and He is waiting patiently for you to accept His great salvation, so despise not "the riches of His goodness and forbearance and longsuffering," and know "that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance" (Rom. 2. 4).